Painful Smile
by lenaetv
Summary: Kotetsu X Sakura- Five years wasted on an endless marriage...An unloving husband...The loss of a child...An old friend steals her heart...Read more inside...
1. Fake Smile

**AN:** HI!!! I have a few things I would like to say before you begin to read my new story. **First**-"THANKS FOR READING!!" **Second**-Don't be detoured by the introduction. (This isn't a depressing story.) **Third**-I plan to update with long chapters so the time between updates will be undefined. **Fourth**- I have wanted to do a Kotetsu X Sakura story for a while now and I finally got around to it. (I just really like Kotetsu. Plus no one has written an M-rated one yet.) ;) **Fifth**-Warning for Adult language and Adult content. Other than that "Please Enjoy!" :)

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**INTRODUCTION**

Anger, rage, resentment, bitterness, hatred, loneliness, sorrow, distress, regret, heartache. So many feelings balled up in one. So many thoughts weaving in and out all at once. Lack of sleep, loss of appetite, wondering thoughts. The road too long and hard to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Why? How? When? What? Where? One simple word, the beginning of so many different questions, with so many different answers.

**Why does the world have to be so cruel?**

It's not the world that is cruel but the people who live in it.

**Why is the road always more ragged then the last? **

Roads only stay ragged when they are seldom traveled.

**How can one hide such feelings behind a smile? **

A smile can portray deception sometimes more than happiness, but its association with happiness is all people comprehend.

**How can one look in the mirror and feel any sense of humanity in them? **

Humanity-kindness for others, one never takes the time to think of their own kindness, especially when they lack the kindness from others.

**When do things get better? **

Things get better…..someday.

**When does the pain stop? **

Pain never really goes away; it just gets lost and forgotten, placed in the corner of the mind you keep locked up.

**What does one do to feel emotions that have long ago gone numb?**

The less emotion felt can sometimes be for the better.

**What is the secret to lose that lonely feeling?**

Lonely-feeling isolated in a crowded room, no secret technique is known to fill the void of being needed.

**Where is the strength found when you've reached your limit? **

Strength is something one can never lose; walking the road alone you must never falter.

**Where is the light when everything has gone dark?**

There was never any light, only darkness; the light is nothing more than an illusion to keep one from losing sight of a brighter day to come.

Questions one asks themselves, answers one believes to be true.

Five years wasted on an endless marriage. An unloving husband, demanding, cold, unknowing of his silent torture. The loss of a child. A mothers blame, small cries for help, a small life taken from the embrace of loving arms, glancing away for a second changing ones life forever.

Is a single person able to survive with such pain?

* * *

**CHAPTER 1**

**Monday-July 26**

"Dr. Uchiha, your patient in exam room three is ready to see you now." The young nurse announced, handing the file to the pink-haired woman who she sees as her superior and mentor.

"Thank you Yuka" Sakura smiled. Yuka bowed her head respectfully before exiting the office. Sakura dropped the file onto her cluttered desk, the headache she had just wouldn't go away. One last patient, she told herself. The clock on the wall assured her that her shift was almost over. Retrieving the file once again, she tucked it under her arm and returned to the duty she had long ago sworn to carry out.

A few sound knocks before she entered with a smile on her face. "I hope this isn't going to become a habit of yours little one. This is the third time I've seen you this week and it's only Monday."

"I just can't help myself" The young boy said stubbornly "And father said that……"

"Yes well despite what your father says I can assure there is no gold hidden within the Hokage faces. Isn't that right Kiba?" She gave him a knowing look.

Kiba smiled innocently. "Just telling him like I heard it."

Sakura inspected the cut on the child's forehead. "A few stitches and you should be fine" She gave her famous reassuring smile. Retrieving a pair of gloves, the right size needle and some plain catgut she quickly set to work. Precise movements, a steady hand and six stitches later she was done in no time. "All done" She smiled removing the gloves.

The boys' eyes widened. "Really? It didn't even hurt."

Sakura laughed. "Yes well I have a special technique." Collecting the file she began jotting down the information in his chart, she then shook her head. "For a boy of only five I've given you more stitches than most shinobi ever get."

He gave a triumphant smile. "With this it's officially 267."

Sakura gave another laugh as she bent down to his eye level. "Congrats! But let's try to keep it at that for awhile alright." The triumphant smile now replaced by a frown. "Don't look so glum, you have plenty of years to add a numerous amount of stitches to your record."

The boy seemed to ponder her words. "I guess" He finally sighed defeated.

"Good" she nodded and handed him a sucker she seemed to magically make appear. "Oh and also…..." She leant in and whispered something into his ear, making him once again smile. "But it's our little secret okay" She could see Kiba raise a questioning brow out of the corner of her eye and couldn't help but smile.

The boy jumped down from the examining table and took her by surprise when he hugged her waist. "I bet you would be a great mommy."

Sakura gave a small smile and returned the hug. The boy let go and scurried out the door, saying something about getting another sucker from the nurses. Sakura quickly retrieved her prescription pad from her pocket and scribbled a few words.

"Sakura he doesn't kn……"

"You can give him one twice a day if he has any pain and don't forget to clean it now and then. The stitches can be removed in a week's time." Smiled as she ripped off the sheet and handed it to him. "Oh and please Kiba, don't believe everything you hear."

* * *

"You're late" Sasuke scowled leaning against the wall in the hallway as Sakura stepped through the front door.

"Sorry" She sighed and took her shoes off her aching feet. "I had to stop by and drop the deposit off at the restaurant for the banquet ne…….." She looked up and he was already gone.

"Are you gonna cook dinner or what?" Sasuke hollered from the living room now.

Sakura made her way into the living room setting her bag down next the couch. "You could have cooked. You haven't been on a mission in a couple of days. It wouldn't hurt you to help around the house you know." She meant every word but had no fighting spirit behind it.

"Tch…..That's why I have you." He waved his hand dismissingly. "And besides this is my time to relax I work hard on my missions you know. I have another one tomorrow."

"Yes and I just sit at my desk six days a week and twiddle my thumbs" She mumbled to herself.

"What was that?" He glanced over his shoulder.

"Nothing" She sighed. "I'll go start dinner."

* * *

**Tuesday-July 27**

"Dr. Uchiha?" Yuka questioned again when Sakura failed to answer the first time. She was currently sitting at her desk staring intently at the scroll in front of her. Sakura finally looked up at the nurse, seeing the concerned look on her face, Sakura smiled reassuringly.

"Sorry, I was lost in my work there for a moment." Sakura set the scroll down giving the woman in her doorway her full attention. "What can I do for you?"

Yuka smiled. "I brought some files for you from the Hokage. She also sent a message saying they needed to be taken care of immediately and expected the results by Monday morning."

Only now noticing the stack of files in the young girls' arms she groaned inwardly. "I guess it's that time of year again." She sighed motioning her hand for the girl to set them on her desk. Yuka did so, happy to rid herself of the heavy load, showing her relief with a grateful sigh.

This was the first time Sakura took the chance to really look at Yuka since she first arrived two weeks ago. She was a very good-looking young girl. Big innocent blue eyes and long dark hair, her face almost still childish compared to her womanly body. "Is something the matter?" Yuka asked self conscious of Sakura's close examination.

"No" Sakura smiled. "I was just wondering how you liked it here so far."

"Oh…..well" The young woman fidgeted growing nervous. "I really like it so far. Everyone is really……really nice to me."

Sakura nodded approvingly. "If you don't mind me asking" Sakura leaned back in her chair. "How old are you?"

The girls face seemed to light up. "I just turned nineteen. And now since I began working my parents let me get a place of my own. It's so wonderful. I couldn't wait till I finally got out on my own. I always did admire the Shinobi of the village for there independence. But still I could never be one, I would be too scared. I mean to risk your life for…….." She blushed and stopped suddenly finally realizing she was rambling on when she was only asked a simple question.

_She really is innocent_ Sakura couldn't help but chuckle. "Don't worry it's quite alright." The young woman seemed to ease at her words. "But you are right, the life of a shinobi is not for everyone. And I am only guessing when I say you became a nurse because you felt it was the closest you could get to be part of the Shinobi life."

Yuka slowly shook her head and then she blushed again. "I also specifically worked extra hard to be able to work under you too." She lowered her head in embarrassment.

"Oh" Sakura was surprised but intrigued. "Why is that?"

Yuka's embarrassment grew. "You……you are the most famous among the medical ninja. It is rumored you even pass your sensei The Fifth Hokage." Her current smile made her look even more like a child. "I admired ever since I was a little girl."

Sakura was quiet for a moment. She didn't know what to say. No one had ever told her before that they admired her. And hearing her say she has 'admired her since she was a little girl' made her feel old, even at twenty-six. "Well Thank You" It was the only thing she could say. But the girls face lit up yet again.

"Please take care of me Dr. Uchiha" Yuka said bowing her head before quickly scurrying out of the room.

Sakura stared blankly at the doorway. Finally she shook her head. _To be so naïve again, things were much more simple back then_

Pushing all her memories aside she reached for the top file. _Really physicals are such a pain each year._ Especially since she was the only doctor Tsunade trusted the job too. It was simple work, most of the time. A smile crossed her face when she saw the first name. Kakashi Hatake, yes he always made it interesting.

* * *

"You really are a coward you know that don't you?" Sakura teased her former sensei. Who was currently confined to the examining table. "We go through this every year; I know all your tricks."

"I'm in perfect health, I don't need a physical." He said defiantly.

"Well whether you need one or not it's required." Sakura stated. "Now there's a barrier around this room so you can't get out." She released him from the table. "The sooner we get this over with the sooner you can leave."

Kakashi grumbled to himself and shoved his hands in his pockets. There was no way he was going through with this. It was absurd, his health was fine.

Sakura stood there for moment before a menacing smile formed on her face. "You know how this goes Kakashi. Now are you going to undress yourself or I am going to have to do it for you." She took a step towards him.

He leaned back as if it would put more distance between them, but when she took yet another step closer he put his hands up defensively. "Alright" He sounded defeated. "I can do it myself."

Sakura smiled. "Good boy" She turned to retrieve his medical folder. It really was rather fun teasing these men. _As if I haven't seen them before. Hell I've done their physicals every year for the last six years. _She rolled her eyes at the thought. _They really are worse then kids sometimes._

"Can we just get this over with please" Kakashi sighed, standing there completely naked, his only other cover being his hands hiding whatever he could.

"Sure" Sakura turned towards him. _But I have to say seeing them in all their naked glory makes it worth my while. _She smiled to herself. "You can have a seat you know" She almost laughed at his slight blush, as she took out a pen. "Physical Appearance" She repeated out loud. "Superb" she scribbled in his file. This time she couldn't hold back the laughter when he went completely red.

"You're……You're not really writing that are you?" His voice shaky from embarrassment.

"Really" She said now exchanging the file for a blood pressure cuff. "For a man with your taste of literature I'm surprised you would be embarrassed. Now sit."

He pursed his lips and did as he was told still making an effort to cover himself. "Just cause I read those things does not mean I speak of them freely Sakura." He defended.

But at this point Sakura wasn't really listening. She was officially in doctor mode, first taking his blood pressure, then checking his heart, his mouth, nose, ears. Her face was expressionless, jotting down all her new found information. Checking his chakra flow, weight, height, his right eye, then his sharingon. She finished writing a few things down before she finally spoke again. "Okay please stand up straight." She said while putting on a pair of latex gloves.

Kakashi swallowed the lump in his throat; this was the part he hated the most. After hesitating a moment he stood up. She wasted no time and gave him a look that said 'move your hands out of the way or else'. Closing his eyes he finally moved his hands. _This is so embarrassing!_

"I'm flattered Kakashi" she mused "But I am afraid I'll have to ask you to imagine Might Gai naked."

Kakashi sweat dropped and groaned inwardly, it really was a horrible image. And he knew damn well she was enjoying this.

"That's better" She gently took hold of his most private parts. "Now turn your head to the right and cough." She ordered once again in doctor mode. Kakashi with his eyes now clenched shut, did just that. "Good. Now to the left."

He let out a sigh when it was finally over and her hand retreated. He wasted no time in once again covering himself. When he finally opened his eyes Sakura was writing in his file. He reached out for his clothes when she stopped him.

"Not yet, I have one more thing to examine." She smiled and held up a bottle of lube. "I promise to be gentle" She teased unable to stop from smiling.

* * *

Izumo and Kotetsu were currently walking to the nurses' office when Kakashi happen to pass them.

"Hey Kakashi!" Izumo greeted. "You here for your physical too?"

Kakashi looked at them, his face pale. "She's a cruel woman." He stated and walked away mumbling to himself.

Kotetsu looked at Izumo and shrugged. He didn't know what happened, the only thing he could make out of his mumbling was something about a 'worthless prostrate'. He was then distracted when he saw a signature head of pink hair out of the corner of his eye.

"Yuka can you send the next patient to exam room four please." She asked, still laughing slightly from her visit with Kakashi.

"Mr. Hatake seemed a little pale, is he ill?" Yuka asked concerned.

"No" She smiled "He just has a wounded pride."

"Hey Doctor!" Izumo appeared, adding sarcasm to her title. "Who's this lovely young lady?" He winked at Yuka causing her to blush and giggle like a little school girl.

"Keep your hands off" Sakura scolded smacking him in the back of the head. "She's my new nurse and you will keep your distance Izumo, if you know what's good for you"

Izumo rubbed the back of his head. "I hope you're not this rough during the physical." He commented.

Sakura's scowl turned to a smile and she turned towards him leaning on the counter. "Nah, you would like that to much."

Izumo lowered his hand and grinned ear to ear. "From you, any day…….Owe…..Hey what was that for!"

It was Kotetsu who hit him this time. He ignored his friend and nodded at Sakura. "Hello Sakura." His voice low.

"Hello Kotetsu" She smiled. "How have you been?"

"Not bad. And yourself?" He watched and waited for her smile to falter, but it never did.

"Fantastic" She practically sang as she pushed off the counter. "Aren't you two a little early for your physical? You have at least another hour."

"Yeah well I thought it was going to take longer to get here." Izumo said, rubbing his head again. "I had to practically drag him here." He ducked just in time to avoid being hit for a third time.

Sakura laughed. "What's the matter Kotetsu? I don't bite."

"Dr. Uchiha sorry for interrupting but Genma is ready in the exam room."

"That's okay. Thank you Yuka." She smiled. "I'll see you gentlemen later" She teased as she turned and began down the hallway.

"Maybe you should do both of us together, you know save time." Izumo hollered after her.

Sakura smiled over her shoulder. "You two couldn't handle me" And with that she disappeared around the corner.

Izumo shook his head. "She's something else." He looked over to where Kotetsu had been standing. He scanned the area "Now where did he……" He saw him slumped down on the bench in the waiting room. "Hey what's up with you today?" He asked as he approached.

Kotetsu stayed silent seeming lost in thought. He didn't even notice Izumo until he sat down.

"Kotetsu you alright? You look like your going to be sick."

"I'm fine" Kotetsu reassured him. Only really it was a lie. He was no where near okay. Every time he saw Sakura his pulse surged and his heart raced. But then every time he heard her referred to as Dr. Uchiha he grew sick to his stomach. Actually anytime he heard just the name Uchiha or even saw the cursed man he felt ill.

He wanted nothing more then to steal her right out from under him, but he even knew he didn't stand a chance against a Uchiha in a fight, which is exactly where it would lead. Because from what he has learned, Sasuke didn't want her, but he didn't want anyone else to have her either.

He shook his head. _Really you are so pathetic _he scolded himself. He could remember the days when he began to watch her and when he fell in love with her. Back when she was seventeen and becoming a beautiful woman and powerful kounichi. He always kept his distance; he never approached her with his feelings. Her age was one reason, she was still young then, mature for her age yes, but he didn't want to take her youth away from her. He wanted her to experience life before trying to ask her to settle down with him, to build a life together.

_But you waited too long idiot!_ he reprimanded himself. He pondered that thought for moment. Really did he ever have a chance? That was one question that ate away at him everyday. _Guess I'll never know now. _He had his chance, but before he could even take it Sasuke Uchiha blew back into Konoha and all hope was lost. He came back with purpose and that purpose was Sakura, for a chance to rebuild his clan. He cursed the Hokage and the elders for allowing him to stay in the village with nothing more then a slap to the hand for punishment.

But still, he loved her and through it all he watched her. Watched her smile, cry, succeed, and even watched on as she took the Uchiha name. And then her child….. His fists clenched as he shoved them into his pockets. The Sakura he knows today was not the one he fell in love with and it was that mans fault. All because he turned cold on her, blamed her for everything. Now she walks around like a puppet, pretending the pain isn't there, pretending the man she married loved her. He seemed to be the only one who noticed her smiles and her laughter are all fake; her playful attitude was nothing more then a cover up. Because he remembers days when she was genuinely happy, when her smiles came easily and her laughter sounded with happiness.

Suddenly his thoughts broke when a familiar voice rang in his ears, his blood boiled with anger and his head shot towards the source.

"Tell her to hurry up. I need to get this over with before I leave on my mission." Sasuke scowled at Yuka.

"Ye…Yes Sir." Yuka quickly jumped to her feet and hurried down the hallway.

Sasuke cocked his head and watched her backside with every step she took, a sly grin forming on his face. His smile faded and he glanced over to where he felt the piercing gaze. Coming eye to eye with Kotetsu, he smirked when the man narrowed his eyes and held his glare. Sasuke was no dumb man; he's noticed the looks Kotetsu sends his wife.

"Mr. Uchiha" Yuka appeared again.

Sasuke averted his eyes back to the young nurse. This time he gave her a smile. "Please my dear don't address me so formal. Just call me Sasuke." He brushed his gloved hand down her arm.

Yuka blushed and put her head down, covering her arm where he had touched. "You….can…go to exam….room two. She said she'll be right with you."

"Thank you" He smiled brushing past her, but not before he whispered something in her ear causing her face to turn even redder and a gasp to escape her throat.

Kotetsu jumped to his feet in anger. "That damn man, I'll……" He took a step only to have Izumo stop him in his tracks.

"Hey calm down." Izumo said. He glanced down the hallway seeing Sasuke and then back at his long time friend. "Kotetsu you still can't be…….It's been years, you have to just let her go."

Kotetsu backed away and took a deep breath. "I can't Izumo." His fists clenched by his sides. "He doesn't deserve her."

"That may be true but she chose him." Izumo tried to reason with him. He couldn't believe he hadn't noticed that his friend still harbored feelings towards the pink-haired woman all this time.

"That's because she never had a choice" He was quickly losing control of his composure.

Izumo sighed. "Not to bash you or nothing but you never gave her the option, you chickened out."

Taken back by the comment, Kotetsu stared at his friend in frustration. He couldn't argue with him. He knew this time Izumo was right. It was him who tucked his tail and let the Uchiha take her as his own. That fact has always been known to him. But to hear it said to him really made him feel like a cowardly dog. He averted his eyes and slumped back down onto the bench. He ran his hand through his spiky hair. _Maybe it's time I said something to her about how he treats her………No she could end up hating me _He let out a heavy sigh, is choices seemed very few.

Just then Genma walked out looking pleased, followed soon after by Sasuke who sent a challenging look towards Kotetsu, only making his anger rise again. "That was quick" Izumo thought out loud. "I figured we would be pushed back because of Sasuke."

"No, Dr. Uchiha is very strict about seeing her patients on time." Yuka appeared next to them smiling. "There is about twenty minutes until your scheduled appointment sir; if you like you can wait in the exam room." She was speaking to Kotetsu but he wasn't even listening. He finally snapped out of it when Izumo elbowed him.

"Hey, she's talking to you"

"Sorry, what?" He looked up the young woman.

She giggled. "You can wait in exam four if you like; Dr. Uchiha will be with you in about twenty minutes. If that's okay?"

Kotetsu nodded and stood up. "That's fine" He said before disappearing down the hallway. Finding the said room in no time, he stood there for a moment in the doorway. He glanced towards Sakura's office only a few doors down. Taking a deep breath he walked the extra twenty feet to her door. Hesitating for a moment, his hand in mid-air, he finally gave in and sounded a few light raps.

"Come in" Her voice called without even a moments' hesitation.

Kotetsu took another deep breath before opening the door and sticking his head in. "I was wondering if you had a moment."

"Sure" She nodded. "Come in"

He opened the door wider allowing himself in, before clicking it closed behind him. He stood there silent, unable to even look in her direction.

"Is something wrong?" She showed concern, taking notice of his strange behavior.

His hand rubbed the back of neck nervously. "No….It's just been such a long time since we talked that I thought………..Hey you know just forget it." He forced a nervous smile.

Sakura smiled. "Will you just sit down already. Unless you think I'll really bite you."

This time his smile wasn't forced and his nerves settled. _If only you would_ He couldn't believe his perverted thoughts as he sat in one of the chairs in front of her desk. "I think Izumo's making another pass at your new nurse."

"Hm…He'll never change will he" She leaned back in her chair, resting her elbows on the chair arms, slowly tapping a pen against her bottom lip. "But you've changed quite a bit haven't you." She chuckled

"That's makes two us" He met her gaze.

"I've matured I think more then I've changed." She smiled "But you, you've become more reserved over the years."

"Are you trying to say I've become boring?" He asked teasingly.

Sakura laughed. "No, you are still far from boring Kotetsu. I just mean that you've mellowed, you sit back and watch more now then just jump right in on the action."

Kotetsu started laughing with her. "Well when you put it like that I do sound pretty boring huh." They laughed for another moment, and then slowly the laughter subsided leaving them in an awkward silence. For Kotetsu anyway. He shifted in his seat, turned his eyes away from her, but her, she was calm and collected and he could feel her eyes watching him.

"So what is it you really want to talk about Kotetsu?" Her serious, stern tone made a lump form in his throat.

He used all his willpower to force the lump back down. His nerves were growing now that her pen was tapping an annoying rhythmic sound on her desk that was echoing in his ears. _You have to say something you look like an idiot. _He scolded himself. He jumped slightly in his seat when a knock on the door crashed through the silence. He said a silent thank you for the timing.

"Doctor, you have to come quick!" Yuka was one step away from panicking.

Sakura jumped to her feet. "What it is Yuka?" She was back into doctor mode.

"A little girl was badly injured. Her father said she fell out of a tree."

Kotetsu's eyes shot towards Sakura. Her expression faltered for only a second, before she was heading out the door. Yuka close on her heels. Kotetsu jumped up and followed, falling into step beside her. "Sakura listen…."

"Not now I'm sorry." She gave an apologetic smile.

That was it; he couldn't take this fake Sakura for another second. He grabbed her by the arm stopping her in her tracks. "Enough with the apologies Sakura! Just quit……" His words wouldn't come out anymore, Sakura's expression changed from surprised, to getting angry, to looking completely helpless and wounded. His grip loosened on her arm, but his hand wouldn't move.

"Dr. Uchiha?" Yuka spoke her name slow and cautiously.

"Go Yuka." Sakura held his gaze. "I'll be right there."

Yuka hesitated for a moment, looking at Kotetsu then to her mentor before scurrying down the hallway.

"Please…let...go." Her voice cracked slightly attempting to keep it from sounding shaky.

"No" His voice was low. He closed his eyes and gathered his thoughts….and his nerves. "Quit pretending that you're okay Sakura, quit saying that everything is fine."

Sakura cleared her throat, pushing the feelings that wanted to surface at this moment away and out of sight. "I'm fine and now I have a job to do." She successfully pulled her arm from his grasp. She was a few steps away when this time his words stopped her dead in her tracks.

"It wasn't your fault Sakura. I hope you know that. And if that damn husband of yours………"

"Shut up!" She screamed, her head hung and eyes shut tight, forcing back tears. "You don't understand, you'll never understand!"

The muscle in jaw tightened as he stared at her now trembling body. He was pissed because he knew he said something that should have remained unsaid. _But damn it she needs to hear it._ But as much as he hated seeing her put on an act, he hated it just as much to see her like this. "Sakura" he hesitated trying to find the right words. "Why don't you help me understand?"

She took a deep breath, keeping her tears at bay and gaining back her composure. "I'm sor….."

She gasped and her eyes went wide as she stared up at Kotetsu. Who had her firmly by the arms and his lips covering hers, silencing her words. Her eyes began to flutter shut right before he slowly pulled away, his hands falling to his sides as he met her gaze. "I told you to quit apologizing." His voice low and husky.

Something stirred in Sakura as her fingers absentmindedly touched against her lips. A feeling surfaced that was so unfamiliar to her anymore, she had forgotten how it felt. _Why did he…_

Kotetsu turned on his heel, shoved his hands in his pockets and hurried down the hallway. "I'll wait in the exam for you to finish." He quickly disappeared behind the exam room door.

Sakura stared at the closed door. _What just happened? _She wasn't quite sure. He kissed her, yes. _But why? This feeling. _Her lips were still warm and slightly moist, her heart was racing and her mind unfocused.

"Dr. Uchiha?" Yuka came for her again. "Is everything okay?"

It took Sakura a moment before she slightly shook her head, clearing her thoughts. "Yes, let's go."

* * *

**AN:** So, what did you think of the first chapter? Please let me know!! LUV YA! :)


	2. Confession

**AN: **Hello! Thank you everyone for your reviews!  Here's the next chapter I hope you enjoy!!

* * *

**Chapter 2**

"That was absolutely amazing!" Yuka praised her mentor. "That was the first time I ever got to see you in action like that" She continued, remaining one step behind the pink haired woman. "It was…….just wow. To think you saved that child's life…."

"Yuka" Sakura interrupted. "Please tell my next patient I'll be with him shortly." Sakura gave the order, arriving at her office.

"Um….Yes ma'am" Yuka turned on her heel heading back to the exam room just as Sakura was opening her office door. She took a deep breath as she closed the door behind her and slumped against it.

The young girl had taken a twenty feet plunge from the top of a tree. She suffered a broken arm, some scratches and bruises, and worst of all, an open head wound. The head wound caused an excessive amount of blood loss, so of course one small crisis lead to yet a larger crisis.

_I should have known better. _She closed her eyes hoping to suppress the emotions that wanted come out. The effort was use less; images she had locked away flowed through her mind, like a horror film that just kept rewinding. A single tear trickled down her flushed cheek. She held her breath, in hopes the urge to break down and cry would soon pass.

Another moment and she slowly breathed out, wiping away the trail of her lone tear. The urge passed and now opening her eyes she was back to her life as of present, her office bright, cheery and representing the doctor she's become. She pushed off the door with a sigh. She shrugged her white, now blood stained coat off her shoulders and tossed it into the small garbage can sitting half empty by her desk.

Glancing down at the cluttered desk she gave another sigh. _Not only do I have to finish all these physicals, I only have one week until the banquet. _She made a mental note to finish her speech. _With Sasuke gone for two weeks, getting things done should be easier._

She took the four steps from her desk to her locker and clicked it open. Taking out one of the three white coats she kept for situations such as this. She slipped her arms in and shrugged it on. Today especially, it felt more like a straight jacket, restraining her to her duties. _Maybe I should take some of that vacation time._

She inspected herself, brushed a small piece of lint from her sleeve and took a quick glance in the small mirror hanging on the door. Her hair was slightly out of place and her lipstick had worn off. _Kotetsu...._Unconsciously her fingers lightly brushed over her lips. _He really did kiss me._ The kiss had completely slipped her mind, but now that she thought about. _Why? Why would he do something like that? _A knock sounded at the door that startled her from her thoughts. "Yes" her voice sounded harsher then she intended.

It was quiet for a moment before the knocker answered. "Dr. Uchiha, the patient is ready in the exam room."

"Thank you Yuka. I'll be there in a moment." She tried to sound happier this time. She fixed her hair and wiped her lips. Shortly she would have to face him again. Averting her eyes from the mirror she slammed the locker. To her, nothing happened, it didn't matter, a fluke, something he did to keep her from apologizing. _That's all…..nothing._

* * *

Sakura entered the exam room, smile plastered to her face. "I'm sor…." She stopped the words, realizing she was about to apologize yet again. Not wanting a repeat of earlier she quickly rethought her words. "I didn't mean to make you wait."

"It's quite alright." Kotetsu smirked not missing her slip up.

"Shall we get started?" She closed the door and made her way into the room. "You know the drill." She stated, checking to make sure all her equipment was present.

"Sakura, about earlier, I'm sorry."

_So it was nothing_. Sakura gave a small laugh. "Don't worry about it." She kept her gaze on the table before her. "It was just an innocent kiss. No harm done." She was cursing herself inwardly; she was making it sound like she was actually disappointed. _Which I'm not. _She kept telling herself, like she really had to convince herself of the fact.

A low chuckle escaped Kotetsu, but there was a stern tone behind his words. "I'm not apologizing for the kiss Sakura. I'm apologizing for what I said to you."

"Oh" Sakura's heart skipped a beat. "Well don't worry about that either." She could hear the rustle of clothes from behind her, but that wasn't what made her heart rate increase. She knew his gaze was fixed on her, she could feel their piercing gaze on her back.

_You've done this before Sakura. Just focus. _"If you would please have a seat we'll begin." She kept her back turned to him until she was sure he was sitting. Once she turned she wished she hadn't. Kotetsu was indeed watching her, and the fire that blazed in his eyes made her breath catch in her throat.

The thing that caught her off guard the most, was the fact that she never remembered Kotetsu being so……..sexy. His tanned skin, broad shoulders, chiseled chest and abs. A sudden shiver rushed through her body. _It shouldn't matter _she told herself _I've seen him naked numerous times_

Kotetsu had to hold back the smile that was twitching at the corners of his mouth. He rather enjoyed that honest look on her face. The look of shock and something along the lines of desire shone in her eyes. She recovered quicker then he expected, replacing the shocked look with a smile.

He was the one to avert his eyes first, seeing her with such a fake expression not only made him angry, it made him remember all the cruel reasons why she paraded around using such fake smiles. Suddenly he felt her hand brush against his arm while quickly strapping on a blood pressure cuff. The minor contact sent his blood raising. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. _I'll never make it if I don't calm down._

He watched her as she busied her self with his check up. The expression she wore when she was in doctor mode was a true expression he decided, a look of concentration, with knowledge hidden behind those emerald eyes. He cursed as his groin twitched with excitement. That was last thing he wanted, right now anyway.

After the sudden kiss earlier he decided he needed to tread this water slowly. Try not to push her too fast into anything she didn't want. He suddenly jumped slightly when the coldness of her stethoscope touched his burning skin, giving way to a genuine half smile from Sakura.

He clenched his fists closed to stop him self from reaching out and drawing her to him. Turning his gaze to the ceiling he tried to think of anything but her, which would have been much easier if she wasn't so close, touching him no less. After a few moments her presence disappeared, he looked down seeing her writing in his file.

"Now if you'll please stand." She smiled.

He had to give her credit; she has become quite the actress over the years. But he could see the flaw in her current expression, and it wasn't in her lips, it was in her eyes. He smiled inwardly. _The kiss definitely affected her._

Obeying her orders he stood, not making any effort to cover him self. He held her gaze waiting for her smile to falter. Only it never did, instead she turned on her heel away from him. He quirked a brow at her reaction, usually at this point she made some comment about picturing some random man naked, but not this time.

"Is there a problem Sakura?" He mused "This is routine is it not."

"Yes" She set her shoulders square as if suddenly remembering she was a doctor and he was a patient. _And nothing else. _After reassuring herself, she set the file on the table and grabbed a pair of latex gloves determined to finish this physical if it killed her.

Smiling she turned back towards him making the grave mistake of making eye contact. She knew what that look in a man's eyes meant. But with him, the intensity of his dark eyes made a shiver run through her body. It left her feeling like a wounded deer, unable to flee from an approaching predator.

"Sakura..." His voice husky.

Suddenly her body grew hot and her heart raced. This sudden, almost alien feeling filled her every fiber. Her eyes widened as she realized she wanted him to kiss her, again. She wanted desperately for him to pull her against his hard chiseled body.

"Ko…Kotetsu" Her voice cracked slightly, making her take a deep breath and try again. "We should finish up here." With strained effort she tore her eyes away from his, now staring blankly at the wall over his shoulder.

She did her best to remind herself that she was a professional, constantly reminding herself she was married. That thought alone shot a pain through her chest right to her heart. The desire she had felt for Kotetsu only seconds ago vanished. _I refuse to stoop to his level. _

Without any further hesitation she closed the distance between them, back into to her doctor mode instantly. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to picture Might Gai naked."

The request she flung at him was not the thing that took him by surprise, it was her sudden change of expression and the venom that her voice held. He looked down at her face; she refused to meet his gaze. "How can I think of anyone but you when you are standing right before me?"

A slight shade of pink tinted her cheeks. "Yes well you are just going to have to. If we don't……" She gasped when his hands brushed down her arms. Her skin beneath her white doctors' coat where he touched felt like it was on fire. Her desire for him kicking back into high gear. "Kotetsu" She breathed taking a step back. "I don't know what it is you are thinking." She finally met his gaze. "But I should remind you that I am a married woman."

The muscle in his jaw tightened and anger joined the desire in his eyes. "I don't give a damn whether you are married or not." He stated as he grabbed his clothes.

"What are you doing? We're not done, you can't get dressed." She informed him. Her heart almost stopped when he turned his gaze back on her. He had just pulled his pants back on and now he was coming towards her. For some reason her body seemed frozen, unable to move, barely even breathe.

Kotetsu stopped right in front of her. He took in her flushed cheeks and slightly parted lips. He wanted to feel those lips again against his. He finally brought his eyes up to meet hers. "I think for your best interest Sakura we should end this physical here." His voice was raw and husky, is dark eyes lighting a fire inside her.

One moment she was looking up at him, the next thing she knew she had closed the distance between them crashing her lips to his. Kotetsu froze for only a moment before wrapping his arms around her pulling her hard against him.

The kiss was raw and hungry, both craving to taste the other. She wrapped her arms around his neck as her knees grew weak. For the first time in a long time her body seemed to suddenly awaken to a deeper, darker wanting. And right now she wanted him.

"Sakura" Kotetsu broke the kiss and looked down into her half lidded eyes. "Don't provoke something you're going to regret."

It was as if his words hit her like a ton of bricks. He was right if she did this now, she would regret it. She turned her gaze away from him. Her fingers unconsciously brushed over her lips; remembering how his felt against them only moments ago. She pulled away from his embrace. "I guess I…."

"Sakura" Kotetsu interrupted. "Do you love him?"

Her head shot up hearing his question. She opened her mouth to answer, but nothing would come out. She snapped her mouth shut frustrated. If she said no she would be lying, if she said yes she would be lying. For the first time in a long time, she actually thought about how she felt about her husband.

He saw the struggle in her eyes, trying to find an answer. It was a good thing for him; it meant she was questioning her feelings for the man she married, leaving an opening for him. He closed the distance between them and took her hand, putting her wedding ring into view. "Do you feel married to him because of this?" He placed a light kiss on the said ring. "Are you happy with him? Does he cherish you?" He now placed a light kiss to her forehead.

Her breath caught in her throat when his hand rested on her chest over heart, a small smile on his face. "Does he make your heart race like it is now?" He asked, then placed her own hand over her heart. It felt like it was ready to beat right through her ribcage. "I know I'm years too late." He began. "But I have wanted you Sakura for so long. Longer then I can remember. And you may hate me for saying this now, but I want nothing more then steal you away from that man."

* * *

**AN: **I know…..I'm sorry I kind of left you hanging there. Please review though and let me know what you thought of the new chapter. Luv Ya. 


	3. Lost Tears Fall

**AN:** Well here is the next chapter. I know it's been forever but I finally got another chapter done. Sorry for the wait! ENJOY!

* * *

**Chapter 3**

The only thing Sakura could hear was her own heart racing. She could feel it pounding beneath her hand and the body heat from the man was slowly closing in on her. Her breathing was unsteady and her mind was frantically trying to comprehend his words. _This is wrong!_ A quick fading voice suddenly echoed in her mind as she felt his hot breath across her cheeks, his lips so close now she could almost taste them. Unconsciously she slightly parted her lips as if on instinct, as if she was ready and waiting for him. But he didn't claim her lips, he met her gaze and the fierce raw sexual hunger she saw in his eyes made her body heat and buzz with excitement.

Her mind went blank and her desire seemed to take control of her body as her hands reached out and gently slid from his naval to his chest. A low growl resonated from his throat and his hand landed on the wall next to her head as if to steady himself. The feel of his hot skin beneath her hands made her palms burn. His heart raced wildly against his ribcage, telling her with every beat just how much he wanted her. This sudden ache in her body was threatening to take control. It's been too long since she felt this much desire run through her veins. Her eyes fluttered shut as she closed that short distance between them.

The sweet taste of his lips was a minty poison to her senses and sent them running in all directions. Any wrong or right flew out the window. All she wanted now was to continue feeling this need, this hunger, this desire, this feeling of being wanted again. The embrace of a man snaking his arm around her waist to pull her close and claim her as his own, the sexual hunger he showed as he attacked her lips wanting more and more of her and only her.

Her eyes flew open and her fantasy shot back to reality when she heard the door open and a familiar voice echo off the suddenly enclosing walls. "Whoa! Sorry..." Without hesitation she pushed away Kotetsu, sending her once heated body into an instant ice age. Her breath caught in her throat as she stared wide-eyed at Izumo who was still lingering in the doorway a look of shock splashed across his face.

Panic suddenly filled her mind and her heart. She'd been caught doing the one thing she despised the most. She lowered herself to the one level she swore she never would. Her fists clenched at her sides and she swallowed the lump in her throat. This has to end here and now. She was acting on impulse and if it doesn't end here she will pay a bigger price than she already has to. She shuttered inwardly thinking of what Sasuke's reaction would be. "Please, both of you forget what happened here." She whispered bowing her head, the urge to burst into tears was threatening her.

"Sakura..." Kotetsu reached for her but she moved away and threw her hand in the air signally him to not come any closer.

"Just stop." She ordered, meeting his gaze. "It should have never happened." She brushed passed him and grabbed the file. "I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong idea Kotetsu. Forgive me. But I can't return your feelings." She scurried for the door and Izumo stumbled aside to let her pass. She stopped and without being able to meet his gaze she muttered in a shaky voice. "Izumo please wait in exam room 1. I'll be with you shortly." With that she hurried down the hallway.

"Sakura wait..." Kotetsu began after her. However he was stopped in his tracks when Izumo took hold of his arm.

"Let her go." He frowned.

Kotetsu growled and struggled to get loose. "Stay out of it! You..."

"Let her go" Izumo repeated he met the man's gaze with anger swirling in his eyes. "Do you think you can change anything by going after her? Sakura's a pro at closing herself off. And the only thing you will do if you chase her now is throw away anything you might have with her." The anger dissipated and was replaced by worry and concern. "She's been through so much already Kotetsu and I can understand how you feel. But don't force her, you'll both only end up hurting more."

Kotetsu's chest tightened. Izumo let him go and his arm fell limp at his side. Hurt her? He never ever wanted to hurt her. All he wants is to protect her and be there for her. Love her with everything he has to give. "Damn it!" He cursed and a crack sounded when he punched the wall. His friend was right, if he chased after her now, she would surely close herself off to him forever.

* * *

**Wednesday, July 28**

"You know you should really stop by one of these days Sakura." The blonde haired man began rambling. "You could come over for dinner or just stop and visit for a minute. I'm sure Hinata would be thrilled to see you. With the baby due soon I'm sure she could use some of that woman to woman stuff you guys do. She's been cooped up in the house so long I think..."

"Naruto" Sakura stated flatly. "Quit talking and just breathe." She moved the chest piece of her stethoscope from his back to his chest.

"Sorry" Naruto whispered and did as he was told.

Sakura herself had to take a deep breath. Though she was trying her hardest to listen to his breathing, the only thing she could concentrate on was the events from yesterday. She couldn't bear to look Izumo in the eyes as she proceeded with his physical, which she had almost called off altogether. But she couldn't, she was a professional and that's just not how she does things. She was grateful though that he didn't push the matter and instead tried to lighten the mood the way he always did. It lessened her tension at least and she was able to finish his physical quickly. But he stirred her heart before he had left. He told her she should forgive Kotetsu, because he really did care for her and has for almost 10 years and also the man just can't stomach having to watch her suffer.

Remembering his words pulled at her heart. Kotetsu has been struggling with his feelings for her for such a long time; the news was a little shocking to say the least. Why had she never noticed his feelings before? She couldn't have been so naive as not to notice. A frown crossed her face. She knew the reason why, it was because of Sasuke. Even before he returned she was blinded by her love for him. And now...another string pulled on her heart. Loving Sasuke and being with him is something she used to only dream about. And that had amazingly become a reality. But then, why if she loved him so much was Kotetsu able to affect her so? The question has been weighing on her mind since yesterday, slowly eating away at her from the inside out. It had to be because she felt the desire that every lonely woman does to be held by a man and Kotetsu fed that desire. The only other reason possible is that she has feelings for him. Her frown deepened but her heart thumped. She didn't approve of that theory, however the thought of it made her feel a little happier then it should.

"Sakura?" She jumped in surprise and met Naruto's worried gaze. "Is something wrong?"

Staring at him blankly she just now noticed that her hand hadn't moved in quite sometime. Silently she scolded herself for her lack of concentration, clearing her head she gave him a small smile. "I'm fine." She chimed as happy as she could and quickly turned to grab his file. "I'm just tired." She lied. "It's hard to sleep without Sasuke in the house." Another lie.

And Naruto called her on it. "Oh? Then why is it you look like your about to cry? Sasuke's gone all the time so I know that can't be it."

She froze and her heart pounded against her chest. It wasn't till this moment she could feel the burn in the back of her eyes. Taking a deep breath she pushed the urge aside, with all her might she swallowed the lump in her throat. "It's nothing...really." She tried for that happy chime again, only this time it came out shaky and sounding unsure. Her breath hitched when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Sakura, I know you better than that." Concern evident in his voice. "What's wrong?" She clenched her eyes shut as a tear rolled down her cheek. Years of emotion suddenly crept up on her and she could feel the weight of it, slowly starting to suffocate her. Why? Why did everything have to go so wrong? It was her fault, she always knew that, everything in her life going wrong was her fault. A small sob escaped her throat and she lowered her head covering her face with her hands. Kotetsu has been suffering because of her and Sasuke has been through so much because of her. If she hadn't been distracted that day, Haruko would still be here and Sasuke would have never lost his son. Everything would be different now. Sasuke wouldn't have started treating her the way he does now. She'd be happy and she wouldn't be questioning her feelings for the man she loved and married. And she would have never flung herself into another man's arms.

Naruto spun her around and wrapped his arms around her, gently cradling her head on his shoulder, the warm tears escaping through her hands and trickling down his chest. "I'm sorry" He whispered softly. Hearing his words another sob escaped and she leaned into him. It was as if he knew she was at her breaking point and that she could crumble to pieces at any moment. But why apologize? It was her who should be apologizing.

Another sob escaped. When had life become such a chore to live? Everyday she forced out all the pain and hid behind her happy facade. That was the only way she knew how. It was the only way she could avoid reality and the cold truth of everything bad that has happened. She still blames herself for the death of their son and the cold treatment from the man she loves the guilt and pain just piled up. Love him? She let out another sob. With everyday that passes truth is she hates him more and more. She hates him for what he's become and for how he treats her. She hates him for moving her into the guest bedroom. She hates him for bringing women into their home. She hates him for never just straight out telling her it was her fault for killing their son, giving her the cold silent treatment was brutal to her heart and her emotions. Silently she admitted for the first time that she stays with him and let's him treat her this way as retribution. Taking it as punishment for her horrible deeds. She owes it to Sasuke for taking the life of their son. She let out a heartbreaking sob and threw her arms around Naruto's neck. Crying harder than she has in a long time. Why did everything have to be so painful?

Naruto held her tight and let her cry, to let out all those emotions that she has been holding back for so long. He knew this day would come. He knew one day everything would catch up to her and she would break. He didn't have any words to ease her pain, he couldn't tell her everything will be alright, because he knows that now life's only going to become harder and more pain will show its ugly face. But he would be here for her no matter what. They stood there for what seemed like an eternity, the small echo of her sobs resonating to his very soul. He wanted so badly to take her pain away, though he knows he can't. The least he can do is be her shoulder to cry on. And with every tear that fell his anger boiled inside towards the man he used to call his friend. This should be Sasuke here comforting her and reassuring her. But he knows that will never happen. Sasuke's changed and Naruto could beat him for it. The sobs slowly began to lesson and she loosened her grip and then just sniffles could be heard. Then slowly she withdrew her hands and wiped at her wet cheeks.

Naruto lowered his head to her eye level and held her gaze. "Feel any better?" He asked with a crooked smile.

She couldn't help but give a small laugh at his effort, but she wiped at another escaping tear averting her eyes. "No" She muttered behind her small crying smile. "I'll be alright though."

Naruto frowned. "Don't force yourself Sakura."

"I won't" She whispered.

He pursed his lips knowing that she would but he wasn't going to argue about it now. "Just remember I'm here for you if you ever need anything."

She sniffled and wiped at another tear, her hand stopped midway down her cheek that was slowly turning a shade of pink. Her wide eyed gaze came up to meet his and he raised a questioning brow. She let her gaze drop quickly then met his again; her tears seemed to stop rather quickly. Because she had completely forgot about his lack of clothing.

He followed her gaze down and held back a chuckle. "Well you see it was an emergency situation and I didn't have time to dress." He smiled and she shook her head as she turned away. His smile grew when he heard a small giggle.

"Thanks Naruto" She flashed him a genuine small smile over her shoulder. "And tell Hinata I'll come visit her soon."

* * *

With great effort she had pulled her act together and finished up the work day without any more break downs. She closed her eyes and slumped further down the couch. It was mortifying to think how she had just broken down in front of Naruto like that. She was horrible for putting him through such an ordeal. And to top it off he was naked the whole time. She covered her eyes with her hand still in disbelief about that one. "He's and idiot" She muttered as a smile twitched at her lips. _Hinata's a lucky woman though_. The thought of their happy life together made her happy.

A frown crossed her face. Yet she still envied them, at times she even resented them for having what she herself desired. It wasn't just them either, it was every couple. Even those couples she passed on the street, she hated them. Letting out a sigh she rubbed her eyes. She wondered what people would think of her if they knew she was such a horrible person. If they knew that behind her smile were thoughts that wished for their unhappiness they would surely hate her.

She ran her hand down her face and let out a frustrated sigh. Honestly she didn't want any harm to come to them. She never wants anyone to suffer like she has. She just wants what they have. It's selfish of her to think it. Because she knows more than anyone that she doesn't deserve the happiness they have. She's a fool to think that she does.

A light tapping sounded from the front door breaking her thoughts. She lowered her hand and turned her head in the direction of the door. Who would be here at this hour? Kotetsu maybe? Her heart thumped at the idea but she knew he wouldn't go as far as to come to her home. Would he? She shook the idea from her head and pushed herself up. Maybe it was a messenger bringing her news of Sasuke? Maybe he finally got himself hurt? Her heart thumped and her steps halted. Her eyes went wide and she clutched her shirt over her heart. Why did that thought make her happy? She knew she has grown to hate him, but to hate him enough to wish for his demise.

She shut her eyes and clenched her teeth, holding back her anger. Damn that Kotetsu, it's his doing why her walls were crumbling and her true feelings were seeping out. Why couldn't he have left well enough alone? The tapping sounded again, louder this time. Sakura shook her thoughts clear and swallowed her emotions. She quickly reached the door and opened it only to wish she hadn't.

"Oh, it's you." The woman said as if surprised to see her in her own home.

Anger filled her every fiber and her knuckles turned white as they clenched the doorknob, trying to keep herself from striking the woman. Sakura remembers her clearly, her long dark hair and those evil blue eyes, Sasuke brought her here often. The thought made her blood boil. "Can I help you?" She tried to sound nice but failed. She really didn't need to ask, she knew of this tramp and what she was here for.

A knowing devious smile crept across the woman's face. "Actually I was hoping Sasuke was in."

Another wave of anger washed over her. Sakura couldn't believe the audacity of this woman. What gives her the right? "He's not here" Sakura hissed and moved to slam the door in her face. Only the woman threw her hand out stopping the door from closing.

"Well then you wouldn't mind passing on a message would you?" Sakura's piercing gaze shot to hers, that was it, she's had it. But before she could release her anger the woman spoke. "Tell him that I am indeed pregnant and he is no doubt the father."

Sakura's heart stopped and her anger turned to shock. "Wha….What did you say?"

The woman's smile grew. "Please tell him that he's going to be a father." She lowered her hand from the door and turned on her heel. "Thanks" She hollered over her shoulder as she disappeared.

Sakura's heart pounded in her ears and her knees gave out from under her. Unable to catch herself she sank to the floor. That woman was pregnant with Sasuke's child? It wasn't possible, there was no way. The words echoed in her mind _'Tell him that I am indeed pregnant…'. _Does that mean that Sasuke knew this woman could be carrying his child? Had he planned it? Her breathing grew ragged, before her chest tightened and the ground beneath her began to spin. "It can't be true." She muttered before tears began to fall.

* * *

**Thursday, July 29**

Kotetsu's patience was quickly evaporating. Why did he have to be the Hokage's lap dog? Couldn't she get her own damn dumplings? His frown deepened as the group of women in line in front of him let out another burst of their obnoxious giggling. At this rate his pounding head was only gonna get worse. He rubbed his temples in hopes to subdue the throbbing even a little bit would be nice. He let out a sigh. Maybe if he could actually get some sleep his head wouldn't hurt so badly. But unfortunately for the last two nights every time he closed his eyes Sakura was there. And to his dismay she wasn't even happy to see him in his own imagination.

He let out another sigh and his arms fell to his sides. How badly he's wanted to seek her out these last couple of days. More so when Izumo wouldn't tell him if she said anything about him or not. He wanted to talk to her, have a chance to apologize and explain himself. That's all, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He was still scared that it was too soon to confront her again. What if he really did push her too far she would be out of his reach forever? His heart ached at the thought. It would kill him.

"Are you gonna move up or what?" An annoying voice sounded from behind him.

He opened his eyes to see the line had moved up. Scowling he stepped forward. Why did that damn woman have to pick the most popular shop in the village? They all tasted the same to him.

"Should a shinobi really be daydreaming like that?" The voice sounded again. "What if I had been en enemy? You'd be dead right now."

Kotetsu bit his bottom lip to hold back lashing out. He wasn't a man to strike a civilian woman but this one was getting close to making him break that rule. Since when did people become so disrespectful?

"You didn't!" One of the women in front of him drew in a gasp, drawing his attention. "You said that to his wife? How could you?"

Kotetsu rolled his eyes and averted his gaze to a poster adorning the wall of the shop. These young women these days were amazing at gossip and they had no care whether they kept it private or not. Couldn't they do this where they wouldn't annoy others? His gaze shot back to the conversation that he couldn't avoid listening to; especially now that he heard the Uchiha's name mentioned.

"But won't Sasuke be angry?" One of them asked.

"How can he be angry at the woman caring his child?" The woman with long dark hair said crossing her arms over chest.

Kotetsu's blood ran cold. Pregnant? This woman was caring Sasuke's child? And she had the nerve to tell Sakura? Anger and worry filled his being. He was angry at this woman and Sasuke, yet he worried for Sakura more. He turned on his heel to leave, he had to find her. He didn't make it far when the woman's voice sounded again stopping him in his tracks.

"And besides that dumb wife of his deserves to suffer."

Before Kotetsu could stop himself he grabbed the woman by her arm and spun her around, ignoring the yelps from her and her friends. "Who the hell do you think you are?" He growled causing the whole shop to go silent and all eyes to fall on him. "You know nothing about her!"

She struggled in his grasp. "Let go!" She yelled clawing at his hand.

His grip tightened and he jerked her closer stopping her struggling. He brought his face close to hers and took delight in the frightened look she took on. "You're nothing but a whore, you're perfect for that piece of shit Uchiha." He scowled and pushed her away, not caring that she just about tumbled backwards if her friends hadn't been there to catch her. He turned to leave glad the crowd had moved aside for him to get through. He made it to the exit and stopped. He glanced over his shoulder to see the woman in tears, being comforted by her friends. "And just so you know, Sakura's completely out of your league." He averted his eyes to the street in front of him. "She's a thousands times the woman you will ever be." With that he took off to the rooftops.

* * *

**AN:** Soooooo...How was it? Good? Bad? I know sorry for the cliffhanger. Next chapter in the workings. :-) Please let me know what you think! Thank You! LUV YA!


	4. Faltered Smile

**AN: **Finally here is the next chapter. Sorry for the wait. Please enjoy and review! Thank you!

* * *

"I want you to make sure all these files get over to Dr. Sasaki." Dr. Uchiha dropped the said pile into Yuka's arms and turned away to return to her desk. "I've already contacted him and gave him the details, so all you need to do is drop them off." Yuka bit her bottom lip and gave a slow nod. Something wasn't right with the doctor; she's been acting strange all morning. She watched as the doctor leaned over her desk thoroughly reading the paper in front of her. Something has to be wrong. She was sure of it. Plus Yuka was pretty confident in saying that the doctor had cried the night before and from the dark circles under her eyes, she probably didn't sleep either.

But why? What was bothering her? Things hadn't really been the same since Mr. Uchiha was here yesterday. Her body stilled as realization hit. Was Dr. Uchiha mad because her husband had flirted with her? She remembered how he grazed his fingers down her arm. The memory sent a chill through her body, the truth was he seems like a really scary person to her. And besides it was her mentor/boss's husband, there was just no way she could be attracted to him.

She shook the thought from her mind. The doctor couldn't be upset over that, plus she was pretty sure the doctor didn't even see the little scene. Suddenly another realization hit. That man yesterday had yelled and then kissed the doctor. _What was his name?_ She racked her brain trying to remember. His face she remembered perfectly and the doctors face after he kissed her. She remembered that as well. _Was that the reason she hasn't smiled all day?_ Should she really ask though? Wasn't that a personal matter? One she shouldn't concern herself with. Still she couldn't help but worry.

"um…Dr. Uchi…."

"Yuka I need you to deliver this for me as well." The doctor quickly signed the letter and stuffed it into an envelope. She turned back towards her and Yuka didn't have to guess that the doctor saw the look on her face, because for the first time all day Dr. Uchiha gave her a small smile. "I'm sorry to ask you to do all this for me."

Yuka was stunned by the unnecessary apology. "No no" She shook her head. "It's quite alright." She then bowed her head. "It's why I'm here." Her head came up and met the doctor's gaze. Her chest gave a little pang, her mouth was smiling but her eyes looked sad. "Is everything ok Dr. Uchiha?" The question just came out on its own and a small streak of panic hit her when the smile on her mentors face faded and turned into a shocked yet saddened expression. "I….I'm sorry" Yuka bowed her head again. "I didn't mean to over step my boundaries."

She closed her eyes lowering her head and inwardly scolded herself for being nosy. It was none of her business. But she couldn't help it, she was worried. Dr. Uchiha just hasn't been the same since yesterday. Her eyes flew open and panic struck again. _Maybe she was really mad because her husband had flirted with me? _If that was the reason then she needed to apologize right away. She honestly didn't flirt back; he had made her feel quite uncomfortable actually, his cold eyes staring at her. She bit her bottom lip again, but she couldn't tell her that either. It might upset her.

"Yuka" Sakura set her hand on her shoulder and gave a small squeeze that made her finally lift her head. Sakura met her with a gentle smile. "Thank you for your concern but everything's fine. There are just some things that I need to take care of outside of work." Yuka gave a small smile and a short nod. She could tell that there was more to the story, but she wasn't going to pry. Her hand slipped away and she returned to her desk. "Once you're done delivering those you can go home." Yuka's eyes went wide and she opened her mouth to protest but the doctor spoke first. "I'm taking a few days off and I won't be back till Monday." Sakura smiled over her shoulder. "Take advantage of it, you won't get three days off very often, especially on a weekend."

* * *

Kotetsu took a deep breath as he practically charged through the hospital doors. He weaved his way around nurses and patients with only one focus in mind. To find Sakura, which he would have done sooner if he hadn't stopped and bought the Hokage her dumplings at a different shop and delivered them. He was sure he was going to get yelled at since they aren't the ones she wanted and he didn't stay long enough for her to notice either. But he was pretty sure that was going to be less brutal than if he had not brought them at all. If she had been at home where he first looked he would have found her right away. But of course she wasn't there. He couldn't believe that idiot would actually come to work now. What was she thinking?

Shaking off the bout of anger he hurried down the corridor to Sakura's office, his heart beating against his ribcage. _Is she really ok? Is she crying?_ A lump formed in his throat. _Is she smiling?_ The last thought sent a chill through him; she would be the person to smile through something like this. And if she is smiling she's foolish. But then again she was foolish enough to come to work. He frowned at the thought. He couldn't imagine the emotional and mental pain it must be to learn that your husband had gotten another woman pregnant, especially after the loss of her own child and the failure to conceive again.

He let out a weighted breath and jogged the last twenty feet to her office door. Without knocking or even knowing what he would say he turned the handle and swung the door open. "Sakura" He called out into a dark and empty room. His heart began to panic. Her office looked deserted. Had he pegged her wrong? He stepped in the room and took notice of her barren desk top. _Had she not come to work today at all?_ He placed his hand gently on the desk that he didn't realize was trembling till now. If that was the case than she definitely wasn't ok and he had to find her quickly before….He quickly shook the horrible thoughts from his head. Surely Sakura wouldn't do anything stupid. _Would she?_

The possibility was there in the pit of his stomach. And now he could only imagine the worst. He withdrew his hand only to form a fist and slam it back onto her desk. "Damn it" He hissed through clenched teeth. The feeling of being helpless to the woman he loved grew even larger. "Where the hell did she go?"

A sound from the doorway drew his attention and spun on his heel with short lived enthusiasm that it was Sakura. Instead her new nurse was standing in the doorway with a file clutched to her chest and surprised look on her face. _What the hell was her name again?_ Kotestu thought as he decided to integrate her for answers. "Was Sakura here? Where did she go?" He practically ground out the words.

"ah…um…" Yuka took a small step back.

He cursed inwardly when he realized he had frightened the young woman. "Sorry for my rudeness." He softened the tone of his voice. "But it is very important that I find her." He walked closer to her. "Do you know where she went?"

The young woman met his gaze, her fear lessened but her eyes held questions. But finally she shook her head. "I don't know where she went."

"She was here though? How long ago did she leave?" His hope rising for a recent departure.

"Over and hour ago." She answered in a small worried laced voice.

"Shit" Kotetsu ran a hand through his hair. He was too late to try and catch up with her. Maybe she went home? It was unlikely but it was worth another try.

"Did something happen to Dr. Uchiha?" The young woman asked softly concern evident in her voice.

But the sound of that last name made Kotetsu freeze momentarily and this time instead of that sick feeling, anger built up towards that bastard Uchiha. He quickly pushed back the anger knowing that now wasn't the time to be angry. And it also wasn't his place to tell others Sakura's personal business. "No" He answered and brushed past her. However, he didn't make it far because a hand had taken hold of his sleeve and he looked back to see her with her head lowered.

"Please" A tiny voice called out. "Tell me. I know something's wrong with the Doctor." She met his gaze with worry in her eyes. "She wasn't herself today and hasn't been herself since yesterday. Did something happen?" Her grip tightened. "Did you do something to her?"

He had no intention of answering her questioning but he was taken aback by her last question. "That's absurd." He pulled from her reach. "I would never hurt Sakura." Purposely anyways, but he felt that part was better left out. He turned away and started down the hallway. But hurried footsteps soon followed.

"But you yelled at her yesterday and you…..you kissed her?"

Kotetsu came to a sliding halt and glanced over his shoulder. "How the hell do you….." He didn't have to finish the question because he soon remembered that she was there in the hallway with them when he first kissed her. He turned away, a slight tint to his cheek and his frustration growing even more. "It's none of your concern. Just forget you saw anything." He picked up pace when he couldn't hear her following him. "And from now on mind your own business." He threw over his shoulder before disappearing around the corner.

* * *

Sakura had kept her composure all morning. Though it wasn't without great effort. Especially after Yuka saw right through her and questioned her. Was her skill of concealing her feelings beginning to falter? They must be if someone who is practically a stranger could see through ruse. Or maybe it was because today she wasn't really trying that hard to be happy.

She spent hours crying last night and then after a while her tears turned to anger. Then at some point she sat, helplessly in the dark not able to push forth any particular emotion. She just felt lost. It was no different now as she sat at the small kitchen table in a dark and quiet house that she didn't even want to call home anymore.

She thought she had it all planned out. Take leave from work, pack her things and clear out, disappear for a while, have divorce papers waiting for Sasuke when he came home. It was the perfect plan except she didn't have anywhere to go or the strength which she hadn't noticed had left her until she got home and her legs trembled beneath her.

Pathetic. That was the word she has been silently calling herself. The truth is she's realized that she was shocked something like this hadn't happened before. Sasuke has bedded numerous women in the past surely it was only a matter of time before he knocked one of them up. A child she couldn't give him. The reality of it hurt and it wasn't till now that she realized she really had lied to herself all those years when she coaxed herself into believing it was only a matter time and they would have another child.

Pain ripped through her chest at the memory of their only child. She closed her eyes brimming with tears and forced the memories back. She wasn't ready for them yet; they would surely put her over the edge and make her lose the little sanity she had left. Barely able to snap the latch shut on the memory she pushed to her feet and stumbled towards the door till she found some strength in her tired body. The urge to drown her sorrows in a bottle sake beckoned to her. She managed to slip on her shoes and forced her numbing body out the door. Drinking wasn't going to solve her problems, but at least they would disappear for a few hours.

* * *

**AN:** So how was it? Sorry it took so long. You will ba happy to know though that the next chapter is halfway done already and it's about to get intersting. :-) Please review! Thank you! Luv ya!


	5. Realization and Honesty

AN: Hi! Heres another chapter for you! I hope you like it! Read and Enjoy and please review! I love to hear from you!

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The alcohol hit hard. It had burned going down when she first got here but now it went down with ease. And now that her third bottle was half gone her vision began to blur. It wasn't until Shin, the pub owner, frowned and touched a finger gently to her cheek only to pull it back moist, did she notice she was crying. It was shameful showing such a weak side of herself to others. But Shin didn't seem to judge her; and she was pretty sure she couldn't stop the tears even if she tried. Instead he shuffled the only other two patrons out the door and locked it, flipping the open sign to 'Sorry We're Closed'. He then handed her a box of tissues and seated himself next to her offering words of comfort and assuring her he was a great listener. With his words and seeing the sincerity in his faded blue eyes she gave in.

She poured her heart out to him. Finally explaining to him what happened the night he found her hovering in his doorway bruised, cut up and crying hiding from the rain. The memory turning to words between sniffles as her tears increased and her heart wrenched with pain. The day should have been a special one; it had been Daisuke's birthday. It was an innocent walk, but the cliff; Sakura's moment of turning her head hearing a suspicious noise….it changed her life forever. She heard the rock begin to crumble and though it only took seconds for it to fall out from under his feet it seemed as if the moment moved in slow motion as she lunged to grab hold of him. But he disappeared and before the panic could even set in she followed him over, sliding down the cliff in a desperate attempt to reach him losing her footing and tumbling down the last 30 feet. But she couldn't save him; no matter how much chakra she used she couldn't heal his small shattered body.

The only other thing she remembered about that day was the tears Sasuke shed has he stood over the body of his son and the hurt and anger in his eyes when he finally looked at her. She choked on the words and wiped at her tears as she noted that the bruise on her cheek and her black eye that night hadn't happened during her fall. That's how she found this place, small and quiet tucked into a back street near the edge of the village. Through her tears she thanked Shin for taking her in because that was another time in her life where she didn't want to go home. Shin gave a sympathetic smile and laid his hand over hers giving it a gentle squeeze.

She invited the small gesture of comfort and it kept her going. Going into detail about how everything went downhill from there. Sasuke hadn't spoken to her in weeks, wouldn't even touch her for months more. Repeated his venomous words that still haunted her to this day, he never failed to blame her for what had happened, even though he didn't have to. She knew and lived with the fact every day that it was her fault. Then she recalled the day she learned he was bedding other women. The news had torn the rest of her resolve to shreds and broke the remainder of her heart. She cried for what seemed like days. It was after that she decided that this was her punishment, this all happened because of her. And it was after that day that her fake smile took shape and she acted like the happiest person in the world, putting up with the actions of her husband seeing as she didn't deserve anything more. In the beginning it seemed the best and easiest choice. A smile can hide the pain; it convinced those around her that her life held no misery. It was an amazing power, but each day that passed it slowly killed her on the inside.

With a shaky hand she poured another shot and downed it between small sobs. The pain was beginning to pierce her again and the need to numb it grew stronger. Shin moved the hand covering hers to wrap it around her shoulder in comfort. And the action of comfort tore a sob from her throat. His gentle gesture in her time of need made her silently admit she was foolish for thinking she needed to deal with everything alone. But the truth remained that she had refused the comfort from others. And honestly, she's received more comfort from a man she's only known from this pub than she had seen from Sasuke in years. The man who vowed to love and cherish her was outdone by the old guy who provided the Sake to get her drunk in her low moments of life. If that didn't tell her how worthless Sasuke was then nothing would.

She leaned her head against Shins shoulder and cried, she didn't know for how long but Shin's grip tightened. In a small voice she told him of the woman who was now carrying Sasuke's child. Reluctantly adding how she let the woman talk down to her. And for the first time out loud she voiced how she hated her husband, the love she felt for him long ago disappeared and how she refused to acknowledge the fact till today. It was a cold shot of reality and the truth hurt, but the words rang true that was the one thing she couldn't deny. She then found herself mentioning her run in with Kotetsu and how he confessed his feelings to her and how they kissed. Admitting how she felt things with him she shouldn't have. Voicing her regret how she hadn't noticed him years ago and saved herself from leading this pathetic life. But she silently admitted that even though it was painful she was grateful for even the short time she had with her son. She loved him with all her heart and would never have given up having him for the world.

She closed her eyes and listened with small sobs as Shin assured her that the accident wasn't her fault and how she did the best she could, risking her own life in an attempt to save his. He cursed Sasuke for being so cruel and treating her so badly, standing firm on the words that she didn't deserve being treated like that for any reason. His gentle words continued to soothe her sobs and his voice began to fade into the distance as the alcohol took its final toll and sleep claimed her.

* * *

Kotetsu sulked as he turned off the main road and weaved through the dim lit alleyways. His search for Sakura had come up empty. However his anger and frustration had died hours ago after his verbal punishment from the Hokage for neglecting his duties. He wanted desperately to defend himself but in doing so he would have to speak of Sakura's private life which didn't sit well with him. Plus he knew the information would only upset the woman, so he kept his mouth shut with a firm belief that Sakura should be the only one to decide who knows or not.

However it did leave him feeling helpless in not being able to offer her any kind of support. He hadn't considered it before since his need to find her took precedence but perhaps she wouldn't accept his comfort at all? The fact that she could be angry with him or even possibly hate him for what happened before made him queasy. To hear the rejecting words from her once had almost been his undoing, but he held onto that small thread of hope that she would come to realize what he told her was true and his feelings for her ran deep. A second rejection would smash that hope to pieces.

A strangled sigh broke through his tight set lips and he ran his hand through his hair. His inability to find her only made his worry grow. But he didn't know where else to look. He checked out all of her friends' houses thinking maybe she went to them as not to be alone, but of course she wasn't there nor had she talked to any of them. Naruto did however look the most concerned as he commented on Sakura's distressed state during his check-up. That news formed a lump his throat. How hard was she going to fall before the pain would just consume her? He silently promised himself he wouldn't allow that to happen but he knew he had to tread the water slowly in order to reach her.

A cat startled him from his thoughts as it hissed running across his path from between two buildings. The loud clatter that came after it disappeared across the way sent Kotetsu's attention on high alert. He scanned the area quickly discovering a group of young punks stumbling drunk through the next ally over. He frowned at the sight. The group of troublemakers was frequent in this area and seemed to find a thrill in causing trouble for others. Kotetsu always had the itch to knock their heads together, but he left it unscratched. It would just be a waste of time because surely they wouldn't learn any needed lesson from it.

He turned his gaze back to his path and shoved his clenched fists into his pockets. The thought of releasing some anger on them was sounding like too good of an idea though. A few more buildings down he turned right onto a small back street and his frown deepened when his destination came into view. The door to the small pub was shut and the closed sign hung in the window. It wasn't closing time yet. "Did that old geezer get lazy again?" He muttered the questioned to himself. The lights were still on as he peered through the window only to find the place deserted. With a shake of his head and another sigh he rounded the building and unlocked the gate, latching it shut behind him. The backdoor was unlocked as usual as he let himself in.

"Dad?" He hollered kicking off his shoes and making his way down the hallway. Not expecting an answer since he was pretty sure he'd find him sleeping. It didn't matter to him either way since he had only come to drink himself senseless and he didn't need his father for that. But to his surprise the older man appeared from the kitchen and his words drew Kotetsu to a jerking halt.

"Keep your voice down." His words were hushed but stern. "You'll wake Sakura."

Kotestu's heart did a fluttering flip learning she was there, but the moment passed as questions spewed forth. "Sakura? She's here? When did she get here? Is she ok? What is she doing here anyways? How long have you known her? And what do you mean wake her? She's sleeping here?" His gaze darted to the doorways of the two small bedrooms. Finding the door to his old room cracked open. Without even waiting for any answers from his father his strides ate up the five feet to the door and gently swung it open. The sight of Sakura curled up in his old twin sized bed instantly eased his worry for her safety but was quickly replaced by a tightness in his chest and a stab of pain. Her cheeks were flushed and the evidence of tears stained her cheeks.

One weighted foot after another he made his way towards her and crouched next to the small bed. The smell of alcohol filled his nose; she had passed out drunk there was no doubt about that. Yet she looked so fragile and vulnerable as she slept and the need to hold her in his arms made him ache even more. With a slightly trembling hand he reached out catching a strand of hair off her cheek and tucked it gently behind her ear. How he wished he had been here earlier. Even if she would have rejected his comfort, seeing her now only proved that he wouldn't have let her push him too far away. Not when she needed someone so desperately to take away her pain.

"She's an amazing woman." His father spoke softly from behind him. "To think she's lasted so long carrying around so much pain and sorrow, it was only a matter of time before she crumbled from the inside out."

Reluctantly Kotetsu silently agreed with his father's words. "She's a strong foolish woman." He whispered slowly standing. Pushing back the urge to crawl into bed with her and wrap her tight in his arms. "How long has she been here?" He asked his father still unable to draw his gaze from her sleeping face, scared to turn away with fear that she might disappear again.

"Come to the kitchen." His father ordered. "Let her sleep. The love of your life isn't going anywhere anytime soon so you don't have to watch her like a hawk."

Kotetsu tensed and heat rushed to his cheeks. How did he find out? It didn't take long for realization to hit him though, of course Sakura must have told him. The moment of embarrassment was quickly mixed with curiosity. How much did she tell his father? And what did she say about him? Spending another moment taking in the sight of her, he exited leaving the door cracked behind him. He found his dad in the kitchen pouring two cups of tea. "What did she say about me?" He didn't have the patience to beat around the bush and went straight in for an answer.

His father remained quiet and he watched him as he set the teapot down and carried them to the small kitchen table set in the corner. The older man sat and gestured his hand for Kotetsu to join him. Kotetsu frowned as they held each other's gaze and a crooked grin spread across the older man's face. The scene reminded him of the old days. It was practically a ritual for the man to serve him tea and sit at the table as they talked. At times it was annoying, like now, but the memories were nice, only tea wasn't what Kotetsu wanted at the moment. "Don't you have anything stronger?" He mumbled as he took the seat unable to refuse.

"It's plenty strong I assure you." His father grinned wider and took a sip.

Kotetsu's frown deepened unable to argue, but his frustration was beginning to build. "Are you gonna tell me now? What did she say about me?"

His father met his gaze and took another sip before putting his cup down. His delay tactics hadn't weakened that was for sure. Finally he lifted his shoulders in a shrug. "She didn't say much."

_Liar! _The word echoed through Kotetsu's mind but he bit his tongue. Though he knew it were true he wasn't about to call the man who raised him a liar considering he was only doing it to irritate him. Plus it would only make him mad and despite his age and smaller looking frame the older man was still a powerhouse when angered. "Oh" Kotetsu smirked, he may not be able to call him on it but he'd learned of others ways to give it right back to his father. "Just like Mrs. Shugo down the street didn't have anything to say about you?"

The older man's expression didn't change but he couldn't hide the blush that crept to his cheeks. "I don't know what you're talking about." He defended defiantly straightening his shoulders.

Kotetsu bit back a chuckle at his actions. Now that he's older it's gotten easier to rile the man up. "So you aren't a gentle soul who turns into an all-night sex machine?" He raised his brow in questioned, but he couldn't take it when his father's cheeks flared another shade of red and his jaw dropped. He had to laugh outright.

His father snapped his mouth shut and frowned at his son's amusement. "You like picking on your father don't you?"

Kotetsu cleared his throat and tried his best serious look. "I don't know what you're talking about." He threw the man's words right back at him causing his frown to deepen.

It remained quiet between them as they held each other's gaze. The humor of the situation dying slowly as the current situation came back into focus. "How much did you let her drink?" He tried for a different question with hopes for answer.

"Not enough" he averted his gaze and focused on the table. "But I don't think there's enough alcohol in this whole place to help her numb that kind of pain."

"How long has she been coming here?" It irritated him that he didn't find out sooner that she came to his father's pub. _How the hell could I not have known?_

His shoulder lifted again in a half shrug. "A few years I suppose."

He cursed himself for being completely in the dark of the fact. "How much did she tell you?" He moved to the next question digging for more information, though he was sure it would make that tightness in his chest worsen hearing more about Sakura's pain.

The man stayed silent, the frown on his face disappeared turning something sympathetic and concerned. One shoulder lifted and dropped as he spoke. "Everything."

As expected the tightness worsened. "What's 'everything'?" Kotetsu asked needing to know his meaning of the word.

His father met his gaze and the pain the reflected in his father's eyes formed a lump in his throat. He's hadn't seen that look since his mother left. "She told me about her son and her cheating husband." His voice was low but a hint of irritation could still be heard. "Also how terrible he treated her and that he knocked up his mistress."

Kotetsu closed his eyes and ran his hand through his hair before running it down his face with a strangled sigh. She had to have been pretty drunk to talk about her son. It was her one forbidden territory that she swore never to cross into. Perhaps, she was in worse shape than he first thought.

"She also talked about the incident with you." It wasn't the words that shocked Kotetsu but rather the tone his father delivered the news to him in. He was angry.

Meeting the man's gaze which did nothing but prove he was right. "You think it was wrong to tell her?" He questioned in his defense. Maybe it was wrong but it was done and he couldn't change it or take it back. He refused to take it back. "I love her, I always have."

"You'll only hurt her." The older man growled.

"LIKE HELL I WILL!" Kotetsu yelled sending his chair crashing to the floor as his anger peeked at the accusation. "I want to protect her!"

"And how do you intend to do that?" His father kept his composure at his son's outburst but the anger in his voice grew more prominent.

Kotetsu pursed his lips and clenched his fists at his sides. "By showing her that she deserves better and taking her away from that bastard of a husband."

"You really believe that's enough? You think that will protect her?"

No and no. The words remained unspoken as his anger grew. His declaration was weak, he knew that, but it's all he had at the moment.

"She's buried her only child Kotetsu. No parent should have to bury their child. And she did it and dealt with the all on her own. Taking the abuse from her husband as punishment, believing she deserved nothing better." His father averted his eyes again but not before Kotetsu saw that saddened look devour his features. "If I ever lost you I don't think I could go on." Kotetsu's anger dissipated at the pained whispered words. "You're all I have."

A new pain struck him at his father's confession. And for the first time he understood what he hadn't before. He knew the loss of a child was heartbreaking, but seeing the pained look that invaded his father's features….it crushed him. He of course didn't have any children so he couldn't completely understand before. But now for the first time he really put himself in Sakura's position. And the hellish truth hit him like a ton of bricks. Like his father he probably wouldn't be able to go on either if he had to bury his only child. Especially how Sakura lost her child, granted it wasn't her fault but if it had been him he would have blamed himself too. How the hell Sakura did it and could smile even if it was fake it was a miracle.

"What should I do then?" He cursed himself for the small shake in his voice. Why was he always a mess of a man when it came to Sakura?

It was his father's turn to run his hand through his graying hair and let loose a heavy sigh. "Emotionally she's more fragile than she is strong. She just must keep going on willpower alone. And you can bet the walls surrounding her heart are pretty high. Plus, if you just attack her like you did before you're only going to break her more."

Kotetsu gave a small snarl as he bent down to pick up his chair. "Yeah tell me something I don't know."

"Too bad you mother isn't here; she would have better advice than me." His father's spoken words froze him on the spot, his knuckles turning white as they gripped the chair. His next words came out on whisper but they weren't lost on the younger man. "She's just like her."

"SHE'S NOTHING LIKE HER!" Kotetsu snapped back up and glared at his father. "SHE DIDN"T ABANDON HER CHILD!"

His father was taken aback by his anger, considering it was the first time Kotetsu spoke of his mother honestly. "She didn't abandon you." The defensive words threw him for a loop and it only made his anger grow deeper.

"LIKE HELL SHE DIDN'T!" He slammed his hands on the table, the wood cracking in protest beneath them. "Sneaking out in the middle night, not even saying good-bye, not even asking to see me these past 20 years?" He clenched his teeth trying not to yell again. "What part of that would you call not abandoning her child? And you. You crawled into a bottle for 3 years. You know how hard it was for me to see that? How hard I worked to bring you back from that drunken state? I already lost my mother did you think I wanted to lose you too?"

His father paled at his words and lowered his head. "You wouldn't understand."

A growl of irritation resonated from Kotetsu. "Really? What's there to understand? And how can you even defend that woman? She abandoned us both." The older man remained silent and refused to offer even an excuse. Having enough of this apparent pointless discussion Kotetsu threw his hands in the air. "Just forget it. I don't care. The only thing I care about is passed out down the hall because an idiot let her drink too much alcohol." With that he left his father in the kitchen, if he wanted to defend that woman that's fine, but Kotetsu wanted no part of it.

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AN: Well? How was it? Please review and let me know! Next chapter in the workings so I hope to get it up soon! Thank you! Luv ya!


	6. Arresting Kindness

**AN:** Heres the next chapter! Hope you enjoy it!

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**Friday, July 30**

Agonizing pain. That was the only thing Sakura could comprehend as she gained consciousness. Slowly turning on her back she lifted her hands and rubbed at her temples. She let out a long breath hoping the pressure would ease. But to her dismay it only seemed to pound harder. The use of her chakra would be nice right now but from a bad past experience she learned not use Medical Ninjutsu with a hangover. It hurts like hell and slows the recovery time.

She squinted her eyes open, cautious of any bright light. Finally luck was on her side, the room was only dimly lit by the small bedside lamp. A frown marred her features. She didn't own a lamp like that. She glanced across the room towards the door. Realization set it in that this wasn't her room at all. Panic gripped her and she flew off the bed, the pain was instant and before she could even wince in pain she hit the edge of the bed and tumbled to the floor. She groaned in pain and was sure her head was about ready to explode from the added pressure.

"Sakura!" Loud bangs echoed through the room. "Are you okay?!"

She winced at the earsplitting sounds and let out a hiss between her lips signaling for silence. "Sorry." The voice came out as a low whisper this time. It seemed…familiar, but before she could consider who it was arms wrapped around her and warmth surrounded her when they lifted her in the air. It was only a short time before she was laid gently on the bed, but she noted through squinting eyes how tan and smooth the skin was on the man's bare chest. Another wave of panic came over her as the bed shifted with more weight. _Did I go home with a guy? _She groaned and shut her eyes tight, suddenly she felt nauseous and she wasn't sure if it was from the alcohol. She couldn't remember anything about last night. The last she remembered was finishing her first bottle.

"Did you get hurt?" He whispered again and her breath caught in her throat when a gentle hand ran across her forehead and then ventured to the back of her head lifting it slightly to look for any signs of injury. It wasn't until he laid her head gently back down that she took a breath and slowly opened her eyes.

The figure hovering over her was out of focus. She blinked a few times painfully holding back a wince. Then her eyes widened and her heart skipped. "Ko...Kotetsu? What are you doing here?" Her voice came out raspy and it wasn't till now she noticed how dry it was.

Kotetsu gave her a small smile. "This is my old room. You got drunk at my father's pub and passed out. He thought it better that you just sleep here."

She blinked at his words, trying to comprehend what he said, but her head again pounded in her ears. She closed her eyes and scowled, a small whimper escaping her throat. She didn't know what was going on and right now she didn't care. She just wanted the pain to go away. She felt the bed shift again as his weight disappeared and then the creak of a door. She squinted her eyes open but shut them quickly as a bright light from the doorway filled the room. Covering her eyes with her forearm she turned her head to hide them in the crook of her arm. _What the hell is he doing?_ She thought and her frown deepened. Was he just gonna leave her there in pain? A small pain found its ways to her chest. He wasn't required to stay here and take care if here. The next thought that drifted through her mind was did they sleep together. Her cheeks heated. Now she wished more than ever that she could remember last night.

Minutes slowly ticked by and at some point without realizing it she drifted back to sleep, because she woke again with a gasp when a cold cloth covered her forehead. Quick to let out a sigh as it soothed back some of the pain.

"Sorry for waking you." His whispered voice drifted to her ears and he gently patted his fingertips across the cloth. "I was hoping since you didn't wake up when I moved your arm you'd stay sleeping."

"It's alright." When he withdrew his fingers from the cloth she replaced it with her hand, applying just enough pressure to take in all the soothing chills it delivered.

"I also brought you some medicine and a glass of water."

Her eyes opened a little easier now and the sight before made her breath hitch. Kotetsu was shirtless and his hair was tousled, a small sexy smile curved his lips as he held medicine in one hand and a glass in the other. She licked her dry lips and it wasn't because she wanted the water. The action wasn't lost on the man because his gaze lowered to her lips and his eyes darkened. Her heart did a funny jump against her ribcage. _Has he always looked this sexy? _The thought took her by surprise and a blush crept across her cheeks.

His now half-lidded gaze met hers and for moment she thought he would lean down and kiss her. Instead he turned away and stood in an instance. "I'll just leave it here." He set them down on the side table so quickly water splashed from the glass and before she could even take another breath he was out the door.

* * *

Leaning against the door Kotetsu let out a long breath. He almost kissed her. Heat spread through his body at the thought. How badly he wanted to taste her again, but he couldn't. After butting heads with his father last night he agreed that he needed to approach Sakura cautiously. He didn't want to hurt her and if that meant he was just gonna have to slow down and try things differently that was fine with him. He's waited this long he could wait a little longer.

A knock sounded at the backdoor snapping him from his thoughts. _Who the hell could that be this early? _He frowned; it wasn't even 6 am yet. Pushing off the wall he made his way to the door. When he opened it up and saw two Anbu masks staring back at him he grimaced. "What is it?" He was pretty sure it he didn't want to know, but it's not like he actually had a choice.

"Kotetsu Hagane?"

"Yeah?"

The two came at him and before he could even react they had him pressed against the nearest wall. "You are under arrest." The man holding him stated.

"What!?" He exclaimed fighting back the urge to struggle. Knowing it would be a futile act.

"What the hell is going on here?" Kotetsu heard his father storming down the hallway. "What's this about?"

"I'm sorry sir but you'll have to stay back."

His father halted. "What the hell are you doing to my son?"

"He's being taken into custody."

Kotetsu growled in irritation as he felt the chakra binding shackles lock around his wrist. "What the hell for?" Kotetsu hissed. "I haven't done anything wrong."

"Charges have brought against you for assaulting a civilian." Distain laced the Anbu's voice. "Let's go."

He pulled Kotetsu away from the wall and he was finally able to look at his father. But his heart sank as he saw Sakura now standing in the hallway staring at him with wide uncertain emerald eyes. He averted his gaze. How bad this must look to her he didn't even want to fathom. His restrained hands clenched into fists behind his back as they pushed him out the door. "This is absurd." He scowled. "I haven't done anything wrong." He defended again.

"Tell that the Hokage." The Anbu him forward to keep him walking.

* * *

"Do you recognize this woman?" Tsunade frowned holding up a picture of a very familiar brown hair, blue eyed woman.

It knocked the air from his longs. That little tramp had slapped assault charges on him. For what? Grabbing her arm?

"Answer me." Tsunade ordered her anger flaring.

Kotetsu nodded his head. "Yes ma'am."

The comment made her eyes flash with displeasure. "Is it true you assaulted this woman yesterday morning?"

His mouth flattened and he squared his shoulder defiantly. "No ma'am."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "What do you mean no? She claims you assaulted her physically and verbally. Explain yourself."

He couldn't. Not in all honestly, if he told her everything that happened then he would have to reveal what he knew about Sakura. "I just grabbed her arm ma'am. I didn't hit her."

She stared at him a moment before reaching for a file and pulling something out. "Does this look like just a grab?"

Kotetsu grimaced. A picture of bruises in the shape of fingers wrapped around an arm suddenly became his worst enemy. He didn't remember grabbing her that hard. "No ma'am" He looked from the image to her. "I had no intention to harm her."

She slapped the picture down on her desk. "Exactly what was your intention?"

He had to choose his words wisely. "She needed to be set straight on a few things ma'am."

"That's it?" She narrowed her eyes again.

He nodded.

Letting out an irritated sigh she waved her hand. "Get him out of here."

With that the two Anbu escorted him out of the room and in the direction towards the basement stairs. His fate for the moment was to sit in cell until his figure this whole thing out. The look on Sakura's face as they hauled him away flashed in his mind. He frowned. Could his day really get any worse?

* * *

It was ten in the morning before Sakura had finally made it home. She tried to go home right after the incident with Kotetsu, but Shin had insisted she stay and get some more rest. She didn't have much fight in her so she didn't try to stop him when he scooted her back into the bedroom and wouldn't leave till she lay back down. Apparently it was the right choice because it didn't take much to lull her back to sleep. She woke again around 9 am and was caught trying to sneak out and again he insisted, only this time to stay for breakfast. Her stomach didn't want to eat still feeling slightly queasy now that her headache had subsided. However Shin produced a cup of tea and a small plate of toast as if knowing she was still slightly hung over.

Their conversation had included Sakura thanking him several times and apologizing for being a burden, which he quickly would wave his hand dismissingly saying it was no problem and she was welcome in his home anytime. It swelled her heart, his kindness humbled her. He didn't have to be so nice to some random woman who drank herself senseless in his pub. She had asked if she had made a fool of herself, but he smiled gently and informed her she did no such thing. But she had a feeling he was just being kind again. Then there conversation turned to Kotetsu. Saying he was a good kid and practically growing with pride at how well he had grown up despite the hard time he had given him growing up. Despite her curiosity Sakura didn't question him on the past. Instead the incident from this morning came to topic. Neither knew what exactly was going on and it worried Sakura. Shin informed her he was going to look into it and have him released before she knew it. She smiled at his determination but she had a bad lingering feeling that it wouldn't be that simple.

And that's why she took a quick shower, a change a clothes and headed out the door headed to the Hokage tower. It was probably none of her business and she probably wouldn't be able to do anything about, but the least she could do was try for Shin's sake. He did his best to smile all morning but Sakura knew all too well it was forced. And Kotetsu….she wanted to be of some kind of help to him.

"Sakura, you're just who I wanted to see." Tsunade said as Sakura appeared in her doorway.

"I am?"

The older woman nodded. "I wanted to talk to you about this." She held up the letter Yuka had delivered to her yesterday.

Sakura tensed. For a while there she had forgotten all about her own problems concentrating only on figuring out Kotetsu's ordeal. "What about it?"

Tsunade held her gaze but finally let out a sigh. "What brought it on? Why would you want to return to active duty all of a sudden?"

"I need a change of scenery." She stated with a shrug hoping the answer would suffice.

Tsunade pursed her lips. "I doubt that. What's this really about Sakura?" She leaned back in her chair, arms crossed under her bust.

Sakura frowned. What could she say without going into detail about what was going on in her life at the moment? There really wasn't much, so that left the truth. But was she ready to divulge that kind of information to her mentor? Something Shin had told her earlier suddenly hit home. _"Sakura, I just want you to know that there are people you can trust and who care for you. Don't try to conquer the trials of life all on your own." _Sakura sighed and closed her eyes. Perhaps he was right, she had chosen not to depend on anyone, but maybe that's what she needed the most right now. "Actually there is something I'd like to tell you."

* * *

Kotetsu paced the small space of his cell. Izumo had already stopped by poking fun at him for being locked up. But his longtime friend believed him when he protested that he had not meant to hurt and that he knew he didn't grab hard enough to bruise her. He knew his own strength damn it! Kotetsu also felt safe mentioning it was over Sakura knowing his friend would understand and not press for details. And before he left he promised to drop by and talk to his father for him and also check on Sakura, because even now Kotetsu was still more concerned about her. He couldn't help himself. His situation would be dealt with in time, Sakura's on the other hand….He ran his hands through his disheveled hair for the hundredth time, his irritation reaching his limits.

"I can't believe she actually went through with it?" A feminine voice laughed.

Kotetsu stilled and snapped his gaze to a young girl standing outside his cell grinning. "Who the hell are you?" She had to be no more than 15 years old.

She smirked crossing her arms. "Is that anyway to talk to someone who came here to help you?"

Kotetsu raised a questioning brow. "Help me?" He walked to the bars to get a better look at her. "How could you help me?"

She also took a step forward and looked him over as if sizing him up. "I happen to know something you don't."

She had to be messing with him. He frowned. "Ok then." He refused to play her game. She looked familiar, but he couldn't fathom why. He was sure he had never seen her before.

She stared at him another long moment before finally jutting out her hand. "Names Kiara."

Hesitantly he reached his hands through the bars and took her smaller hand into his. "I'm guessing you already know who I am."

She smiled small and sadness flashed in her eyes. "I've known who you are for a long time."

"Oh?" Kotetsu withdrew his hand not sure if that statement was a good thing or bad.

She nodded, smile growing. "Ever since mom told me I had a half-brother I've wanted to meet you."

* * *

**AN: **Will the twists never end?! :-) So what did you think? It's going to get more juicy now! Please let me know what you think! Luv Ya!


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